Flo Rida : Get Low

To begin with, summer is over. If there was a machine that allows you to turn back time once in a lifetime, I believe the queue will be crazy long with humans or even animals. Because plenty of us want to turn back time and amend some silly or careless mistake we have done and make it perfect. But how is that possible for now? It only exists in the movies. So to cut that crap out of my imagination, just stand up, catch your breathe and walk towards your planned destination. Gosh! This is always the most difficult part of life where everyone has to faced. Trying to overcome our selfish ego needs and bow to your opponent. Some run away by killing themselves. This is hell.

In Nichiren Buddhism, it teaches us how to get out from hell. I am glad that I am practicing it but at the same time, because I am a human, I can be ignorant at times and continue to be in hell or I could make an effort and make a difference to the ending. So what if I make a difference and it was an ending that I didn’t desire? Heh, it is a vicious cycle that we as human are “fortunate” to go through. We human are so powerful that we are able to see, feel and taste.

I, once felt that I was a hideous monster inside me. I am embarrassed at myself that I found the monster in me yesterday! How did I allow it to happen? There is no one to blame except myself. I was at the lowest (She hit the flo' , She hit the flo', Shawty got low low low low low)point of my life.

I am just writing this to remind myself that I still have faith and I am still capable to continue my journey. There were friendly support and happy news that encouraged me. I don’t know how the journey to the destination and how the ending is going to be. Right now, I am going to lift my head up, pen off and chant.

Lost, Season ??

A year has passed and I was once sure that I had it right. At this point of time, the response I received makes me ponder about questions that I thought it was “rest assured” to me. Is this the road that has been lay down for me?

I have come to this crossroad where I’m afraid to take. Nor left nor right will ensure a smooth journey to my destination. My karma I have to accept though it will be painful. Suddenly, I’m turning back to where once I have this uncertainties and insecurities just like how I talked about the story of the missing piece. It is my own fundamental darkness that has taken over me.

You

Days and weeks passed and D Day arrived. I couldn't conceal my excitement, it was shown all over my face. I found the missing piece I was searching for the longest time of my life. But we all know that a feeling is something temporary, and so what we look for in life is something absolute. That little something something that will last a lifetime.

This indefinately requires plenty of effort.

Be brave and have faith.

Be determined and have patience.

Respect and lots of loveeeeeeeeee.

Shanghai Aftermath

I caught fever when I was on the plane. This can't be any better! Pray hard that it has nothing to do with Swine Flu.Last nite, I started to have diarrhoea. Damm, when is this getting over?? Seriously lack of daimoku, everything seems going haywire. Kept telling myself, this is the test of faith. I can overcome this.

Something undeniable is I did established genuine friendship over the week :0)

Shanghai Jinx

To me, this city always brings back the nostalgic touch of the 1920's. All the inspirations from the chinese drama series I watched when I was a kid.

I decided to visit this metropolitan city since my dear friend is temporary residing there. Good thing that someone can show me - the Ms Can't Read Chinese around. 5 days before my trip, my friend called to say that there's an emergency and he will have to come back Malaysia. It was something unfortunate. Man.. after waiting for 2 months! No one to blame on.

Since it was a promotional ticket, I can't do any changes to it. There's always fineprints to this kinda of perks. Anyway, I got no choice but to go. My friend arranged a couple of friends to take care of me during my visit. So there I flew to the oriental land..

Day 1
I was having trouble asking for Taxi. Finally, Joshua told me it's called "Chu Chu Cher". Then I met up with Lepak Linda and Charismatic Christy, they brought me to Joshua's apartment. Conclusion, they felt sorry that I have to sleep there so Christy offered to clean up her 2nd room for me to sleepover. So chweet..

After settling down, Linda went to work. Christy and myself was walking around looking for food. Should we take the subway or the taxi? Then, we went to the subway and a man caught our attention. He was very loud but we ignored him and continued walking and suddenly I felt a slap on my ass. I shouted. Christy asked what happen, I paused for a minute and told her " He just spanked my ass". There he was laughing and walking away. Apparently, Christy said he was clad in a police uniform.

Later at nite, Joshua texted that someone is coming over to his house to fix the windows and door at 9am. Arrr ..this means I have to wake up earlier than that.

Day 2
So Joshua's friend, Simon and Daniel came at 930 to help out. We waited for the installer but in the end to no avail. I could have sleep in!

Then, Linda brought me to the French Concession Walk to check out the old buildings which are turned to cafes,quaint boutiques and art galleries. I'm still thinking of the lacquer painting I saw. Kelly would love this place. And she can take nice pictures of me, haha.

Day 3
I received a call from Joshua at 830am saying the landlord is coming over with the installer to fix the windows and door at 9. Fcuk! Quickly, I rushed to make sure that they dunno I'm staying at his place. So they came, it wasn't appropriate for me a lady to be there when the men are working but what to do, Simon is out of town already.

Alamak! I have to meet Celes at 12. Then 12 became 3pm. I felt so sorry that she have to wait. Gawd she was starving when I met her and most of the kitchen closed at 3pm. What was available was just snacks :( I was lucky that the landlord bought bread for me. It was already raining when I reached The Bund. Too bad, we can't take pictures of the view we had. Sigh..

I went back to Joshua's apartment to get my luggage so I can moved to Christy's place. Waa lau, the door got locked from the inside and Linda who have the spare keys is out of town until the next day!

How?? I went party with the clothes I was wearing the whole day lorrr! It's not the end yet, Joshua texted me and said that my car broke down! I suggested him to drive my car for his convenience while I was away.

This is so unbelievable. I almost cried out! Thanks to bubbly Hui Ling who keep saying, it's ok. Everything will be alright. I told them that tomorrow will be the best day of the whole trip.

Day 4
I sleep in, had great lunch with Celes.

Went to the shopping street and realized that everything there is fcuking expensive.
Stopover at the only Barbie store in the world. Plastic, Pink, Poise, Perfect, Pretty
Had great dinner with Linda, Su Wei & Christy.
Finally, relaxing foot and head massage to end the day. This is truly the best day of the entire trip.

Day 5
Pack and Leave. I will be back :)

Perfectionist Ping

It’s 6 in the morning and I should be sleeping. I heard my neighbour's alarm clock ringing at 530am and now the familiar sound of the bus which I used to hear during my school days. My mind is thinking and planning for that special occasion. I'm excited and worried. Hopefully it will turn out well!

Sign off, A Virgo

Happe Birthday

Last weekend, I participated in Run for Peace 2009 organized by Soka Gakkai Malaysia. This is the 3rd time we are organizing this and I think we are getting better and better. My aim is to be part of the working commitee in 2011.

There were many familiar faces and we were exchanging smiles, hellos and encouragement. It was full of fun "Walking" with my close friends! Mun and Chek was busy camwhoring.. Shin and myself was busy checking out people, haha. We supposed to have PS to run with us and follow up with her pre birthday celebration Unfortunately, she couldn't join us. Today it's her birthday, so Happe Birthday Pei Sze!

Khwei@Koala Land

And now it's his turn to spread his wings and fly. It was all decided very soon. For the better, we believe. He is on his way there and we hope this will work for him.

Moonlight Journey

My mood sets in, and I feel like writting but I was driving. I turn to my right and saw myself. I make funny faces so that I smile to the reflection in the mirror. (I make sure there are no cars driving beside me when I'm doing this)

The radio was playing and the song carries me away. I've been searching for that missing piece and I am still searching for it. On another line, for the first time I feel sad for what happenned at work due to some unnecessary reasons. Although some part of me is empty but I felt the sudden bliss, I felt life was exciting and I start to think about the things I wanted to do more in the coming future.

Pick up language class.
Sleep early.
Drink more water.
Spent more time with my grandma
Save money.
Continue my pilates and yoga which I've put aside for more than 2 years, enough of stubborn cellulites and droppy S.

Music aspires me :)

I love music
I love my Ipod (Thanks J)
I love my future Bose system

Again

I feel like singing ..

I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind..

Chorus:
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again
A wounded heart you gave,
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many,
I know you didI come from a place that hurts,
an' God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again

Making love to you oh it felt so good and
Oh so right
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again
A wounded heart you gave,
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many,
I know you didI come from a place that hurts,
an' God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again

So here we are alone again,
Didn't think it'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
I've come too close to happiness,
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
Never fall again

Kinda late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
Don't you stand there and then tell me
You love me
Then leave again
'Cause I'm falling in love with you again

Hold me, hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do love you again