Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Dinner with Pa

I had a quiet dinner with my pa, i've begin to realize he cares and love us a lot. Started to spent more time with him not just by sitting at home and to let him know my presence but talking to him more, do things together with him and listening to his complaints. Listening to him is not an easy task but I've learnt to be patience and listen with an open heart, to be more receiving too, think and consider his words. I noticed a huge improvement in our father daughter relationship and I will continue to work towards a better relationship.
There is a quote saying “If you want to change the environment, you yourself must change first”

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Emotional Blackmail

I've heard this from a member when I attended our district Gakkai discussion meet and I think it's a cool word to describe everything below. This is one thing I find interesting and if you do encounter this or heard about it, appreciate you do leave your comments.

Emotional blackmail is relationship abuse motivated by a desire to hurt. An emotional blackmailer may claim good intentions, and a victim may perceive the abuse as normal.The use of emotions becomes harmful when they are used as threats to control or intimidate others. Emotional abuse includes excessive demands, punishment for normal behavior, discouraging expressions of attachment (love) or self-respect, and withholding affection or care. Emotionally charged threats and intimidation leaves their victims feeling helpless. Victims of emotional blackmail often give in, believing they have no other options. The damage caused by emotional abuse often manifests as dysfunctional relationship behavior.

The justification for emotional blackmail is often dependence - the abuser may be afraid to lose something important that the victim provides. An abuser may:

-> Withhold essential information
-> Contradict the victim's perspective
-> Disguise abuse as humor
-> Block the victim's goals
-> Install limiting beliefs
-> Trivialize thoughts and achievements
-> Make threats to increase power
-> Forget promises, agreements or previous discussions
-> Invalidate the victim's reality and perceptions
-> Express anger to release tension and feel powerful

Displeasure can be expressed in ways without using emotional blackmail. When rules and expectations are clear, the need for manipulation is lessened. When the authority structure is clear and just, they develop trust in the decisions that are made.

If you want to know the characteristic of a victim and an emotional blackmailer and also why is it necessary to stop emotional blackmailing -> Emotional Blackmail

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Happy 2007

I’ve been thinking of writing since it’s the New Year and I wanted to post up something significant to me. So yes I will be posting up something very interesting soon. So wait there for awhile and I’ll be back. Meanwhile I’ve just added my New Year resolution on top of the initial one, so go Ping go!

Learn Zen Qi
Be a good daughter
Be a good sister
Be a good financial advisor (this has been going on every year but still I’m not giving up, debts debts debts)
Be a smart consumer (again, this has been going on every year but still I’m not giving up, save save save)

And a few more…


What are yours??